Sometimes I wonder if I will be editing forever. The novels, mainly. Myself, partially. It’s like a never-ending fix-and-edit situation. Is there a way to embrace it?
I have never liked being told I’m incorrect. If there was a way to put my heart on a page and let it alone, since it is uniquely me, I would do it! Instead I’m chasing after this standard. This level of good. Level of requirement. The level I can’t achieve on my own.
On this side, it feels like handing my heart over to a judge that cares nothing for me and being forced to accept his sentence and punishment, to be doled out daily, for as long as I live, so help me God.
There has to be a better way.
Maybe what really needs editing is my attitude. My outlook. My mental state. My heart’s acceptance. My starting thought.
Maybe these novels are thoughts that Jesus needs to edit… perhaps through other people.
So, maybe if I let the Holy Spirit lead and I quit resisting, the editing will be complete sooner.